I was plucked like a petal,
A feeble tissue,
And through the whirl of
Your charming fodder
Lifted to such a height
The earth beneath turned a hazy glow
And in all my senseless credulity
I believed it was enough to keep me
Unanchored from the anguish below
But the wind that had inflamed your words
Expired as instantly
As they had stirred
And from that glorious plateau
You let me go.
Boneless and bare;
A cast in love’s mortal show.
(A recent self portrait, I fear it captures my green tinge almost too well…)
Although now a default method of transportation, it took humans seven million years to master just the first stroll. What proved to be an irrevocable step towards evolutionary precision is now, without a doubt, taken for granted especially as a child will be deemed a little dim if he or she has not mastered this skill within only a few years of existing. The art of putting one foot after the other is work of pure genius!
#2 Swallowing Pills
Perhaps it is just me with an aversion to swallowing larger that humanly-preferable items but it took me years to build up the courage to attempt this sorcery. With gag-reflexes on high-alert, this is a tricky one and hence an underrated life skill especially for those whose throats can handle swallowing pills without a second thought.
#3 Applying Eye liner
For those people who decide that covering your face in chemicals with the odd dash of congealed whale fat is not the way to go, applying eye liner is a highly underrated life skill. When I was around eleven I was occasionally referred to as ‘the girl who couldn’t put on eye liner’… although my problem wasn’t that I ‘couldn’t‘ put it on (in fact, saying I’d over do the make-up a little may be discrediting the fact my whole face became a dark shade of black) but it was because it looked like a total mess. The art of applying eye liner, I believe, could be an entire degree… it takes patience, a little creativity and mountains of impossible dexterity.
#4 Eating Broccoli
I have yet to acquire the skill of being able to stomach this green and irritatingly healthy vegetable, and I have great envy for those who can. I’ve been told that it is even possible to reach the level of skill to actually enjoy munching this tiny tree-like cuisine. Wow!
#5 Blinking and Other Reflexes
This is arguably the most underrated life skill as we barely even notice, and therefore never fully appreciate, the reflexes conducted by our bodies which include blinking, breathing and swearing. We’d be pretty stuck if our bodies didn’t decide to take control of these vital functions.
During exam season it’s always easy to feel as though life is being put on hold. Instead, it is replaced by a monotonous string of revision and sleep that grows so cyclical life becomes more of a recurring nightmare with nothing but brightly coded time tables and towering revision cards to keep you from waking up.
Consequently I find myself forever adding to a list of things to do ‘after’ exams; which, this year consists of mastering the impossible ‘F’ chord, pouring myself into Sims 3 and starting an appreciation society for elbows.
During the past month I have drunk enough energy drinks to give even the sturdiest cardiologist a heart attack. I have somehow managed to turn three essays across all of my subject exams into feminist rants where the paper became the victim of the only woman who, perhaps, shouldn’t have received the rights to wield a pen. I also befell a very Cinderella-esque situation with a doomed sock.
Clearly I’ve been keeping on top of my madness despite my nagging educational commitments!