Believe it or not, I began ‘playing the field’ as quite the young whipper-snapper. But of course, like most relationships during the earlier years, this one sadly did not work out for my eleven year old self. As the perpetrator of the dumping, I can say that there is always  a certain amount of pressure to plan your words carefully so as not to psychologically rupture your (soon to be) ex’s self esteem.

Apparently I took this moral obligation very seriously as I even drafted my words thoroughly before giving them to him in the form of a final farewell.

I have only just recently remembered all of this through actually finding the drafts which I made, whilst clearing out my room. It took me a very long time to recall the nature and origin of these words; clearly the experience wasn’t as heart-rendering as my eleven-year old melodramatic self may have otherwise believed since it so easily slipped from my mind.

And here is the infamous scripture-

‘I can’t go out with you. anymore. Its just
because I’m really fed up with everything at the
moment. I’m just so fed up.
No one sticks up for me. everyone just
laughs at me and I cant do it anymore
I’m sorry for letting you Down.
Feel free to hate me Just like everyone
else. Please unterstand. tho.

Bloomin’ heck. The initial light-hearted tone of this post has obviously been thoroughly annihilated by the woeful and gloomy tone of the draft which I used to dump by boyfriend. I am glad that I got over the ‘no-body understands me waa waa’ phase quite early on in my teens and I’m also glad that I was able to cheer up considerably within the years that followed my first year at secondary school which, as for many people, wasn’t the most enjoyable.

Nonetheless, I am quite impressed with all the literary techniques I was able to exhibit at such a young age. For example there is a nice dollop of repetition, short emphatic sentences and I even  played the timeless entity which is the pity card. Although I’m sure some critics may say that I even ‘over-played’ that one.

I sincerely hope that this post has not inspired as much cringing as I have consequently endured from recalling such horrors from my memory.