When I was eleven years old not only was I shorter and certainly more lost in a seemingly scary world but what has recently been brought to my attention is how I was actually rather picky and particular in the (even scarier!) field of ‘men’….
Embarrassingly so!
Yes! It turns out my ‘needs’ when it came to men were nothing short of an entire epilogue of ‘musts’ and ‘must nots’ in the form of a bullet point list that I (six years later, and much to my shame) have discovered and decided to share right here on Pinkjumpers and with it perhaps I shall also share a glimpse into mind of the eleven year old Anna…
Starting with ‘Musts’ (bearing in mind that these under NO circumstances can be negotiated if he had any hope of becomming my ‘lover’)…
- He must have black hair
- He must listen to rock/punk/emo music
- He must be able to take a joke (I suppose this one still stands!)
- He must bath, brush his teeth and wash (I’m not sure how many smelly males I encountered to inspire this!)
- He must be good mannered
- He must play guitar, the drums and rugby
- His favourite lesson must be art
- He must have green eyes (seriously?!)
- He must be tall
- He must be ‘above average’ in intelligence (is that in order challenge your own aged 11 intelligence Anna?!)
- (and commence me forever sounding like a paedophile) He must be 12 years old.
And if this list wasn’t extensive enough in my guildlines for the perfect ‘man’ here are my equally shameful ‘Must Nots’…
- Must not get angry
- Must have no piercings
- Must not read books
- Must not get scared (because aged 11 Anna who is petrified of earwigs is the definition of pure bravery?!)
I’m quite glad to say that I’ve moved on (a lot!) from this mindset; realising that in reality ‘love’ doesn’t fit into a bullet point list.
What I have come to realise lately, however, is that having standards (though far from like those featured above!) is necessary if you’re going to be in a lasting and fulfilling relationship. And that’s okay because if you find yourself compromising your own morals and even who you are in a relationship then you’ve got to know that you’re cutting yourself short. You can do better. How do I know this?
Because I learned the hard way.
I didn’t actually intend for this post to end on such a serious note but I truly believe in the importance of never compromising who you are. Thanks for reading! 🙂
Pinkjumpers' Blog 
321irony
Very thought provoking post, and a very interesting glimpse into your younger selves mind! I must say some of these really made me laugh (as many of my own younger selves standards often do today). What I think are very interesting is that you wanted a man who listens to punk/rock/emo music…but doesn’t have piercings. And also that you wanted him to be intelligent…but read no books. It made me smile a little, mostly because I have often suffered these kinds of contradictions in my own life! Thanks for posting 🙂
Pinkjumpers
Haha! N’awww. :’)
Yes, it seems I was quite the confused individual of many mixed messages :’)
The ‘musn’t read books’ was actually interpreted from the actual bullet point that read ‘books: none’ so I can’t be sure what I really meant by that! Haha. :’)
Thanks for reading! 🙂
foreverstartingyoga
Great post! Really made me smile 🙂 And you’re right you should never have to compromise who you are. But, I think for a lifelong partnership to work (which you’re probably not looking for just yet) you do have to compromise on some things. Mutual respect, a little compromise, understanding the others point of view and honesty are the cornerstones. And laughter is by far the cement that holds it all together and keeps it standing until the end of time (well, not that long but for a very long time!)
Good luck with your studies. You’re amazing. Never forget it x
Pinkjumpers
Aww, thank you so much! This is so sweet! 🙂
Haha, thank you for your advice that makes a lot more sense than mine! Aha!
I enjoyed reading your blog also, I’ll be sure to follow 😀 x