When I was eleven years old not only was I shorter and certainly more lost in a seemingly scary world but what has recently been brought to my attention is how I was actually rather picky and particular in the (even scarier!) field of ‘men’….

Embarrassingly so!

Yes! It turns out my ‘needs’ when it came to men were nothing short of an entire epilogue of ‘musts’ and ‘must nots’ in the form of a bullet point list that I (six years later, and much to my shame) have discovered and decided to share right here on Pinkjumpers and with it perhaps I shall also share a glimpse into mind of the eleven year old Anna…

Starting with ‘Musts’ (bearing in mind that these under NO circumstances can be negotiated if he had any hope of becomming my ‘lover’)…

  • He must have black hair
  • He must listen to rock/punk/emo music
  • He must be able to take a joke (I suppose this one still stands!)
  • He must bath, brush his teeth and wash (I’m not sure how many smelly males I encountered to inspire this!)
  • He must be good mannered
  • He must play guitar, the drums and rugby
  • His favourite lesson must be art
  • He must have green eyes (seriously?!)
  • He must be tall
  • He must be ‘above average’ in intelligence (is that in order challenge your own aged 11 intelligence Anna?!)
  • (and commence me forever sounding like a paedophile) He must be 12 years old.

And if this list wasn’t extensive enough in my guildlines for the perfect ‘man’ here are my equally shameful ‘Must Nots’

  • Must not get angry
  • Must have no piercings
  • Must not read books
  • Must not get scared (because aged 11 Anna who is petrified of earwigs is the definition of pure bravery?!)

I’m quite glad to say that I’ve moved on (a lot!) from this mindset; realising that in reality ‘love’ doesn’t fit into a bullet point list.

What I have come to realise lately, however, is that having standards (though far from like those featured above!) is necessary if you’re going to be in a lasting and fulfilling relationship. And that’s okay because if you find yourself compromising your own morals and even who you are in a relationship then you’ve got to know that you’re cutting yourself short. You can do better. How do I know this?

Because I learned the hard way.

I didn’t actually intend for this post to end on such a serious note but I truly believe in the importance of never compromising who you are. Thanks for reading! 🙂

dres

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