It was Thursday night when I left my home at around 6.15 p.m. to go to my friend Chelsea’s house where we then set off to what would become a fine evening of firsts, finals and folly.
There was much to be enjoyed about the evening and I certainly did so! The company, the atmosphere and the cheesecake (sorry George!) are to name but a few of my enjoyments.
Yet, of course the evening was always shaded with sadness for it signalled the beginning of a an entire year group going their separate ways after five school years together.
Well, admittedly this realisation also creates relief in some cases.
But, I’m vowing not to dwell on sentimentalities.
A wonderful end to a string of fine years.
I’m writing this post as I get ready for my year 11 end of term prom!
I’ve been so pre-occupied with exams this last couple of months that I haven’t taken any great time to think about the prom, what it means etc.
But now it’s suddenly here!
Which is crazy as I’ve been telling myself for the past five years that there’s no need to bother worrying or even thinking about the prom because it’s so far in to the future..
yet this future is now only a few hours away.
That all aside I’m definitely looking forward to the evening! Most of all I’m looking forward to being with my friends in a sophisticated setting as opposed to a typical muddy day in the woods climbing rotten hills and such.
It could be the last occasion that I spend any time with a lot of people of whom I’ve spent the last five or even eleven years with.
But I’m determined not to dwell on all that sentimental gooey stuff as I’m planning to enjoy myself to the utmost!
Some people seem to take the prom very seriously, which is okay in small amounts until you end up stressing over it; especially as it’s supposed to be an evening of complete folly with the closure of exams and being with chums.
Nope, if I fall over or if someone is wearing the same dress as I…
well, I’m just going to laugh the evening away anyway!
(P.S. pictures soon!)
The world has become, for a first time, a very scary place it seems.
Change at this moment is a constant yet chaotic theme to all aspects in my life.
All this change is so sudden; like everything is falling further out of a once familiar and stable place.
There have been so many sentimental farewells and ‘last times’, it seems like an entire epoch in my life is coming to an end. Although I suppose that was inevitable.
Realising that I will no longer spend my school days with two of my closest friends, or many of whom I’ve grown up with seems like such a sad turning point, I guess that I never truly thought it would happen.
Yes, I have a handful of wonderful memories but never the opportunity to re-live them.
Change is one of the few things that humans cannot control or even, occasionally, help to keep stable. I realise that I’ve never been exactly used to helpless situations..
…if I’m not doing as well as I would like in a subject then I can revise; if I’m lonely I can call someone up or if I’m not as fit as I want to be then I can exercise.
But all this new change in my life cannot be controlled, especially not with time.
Perhaps I’m just having an early mid-life crisis. It seems like something that I would manage!
I suppose I am left to simply look forward to all the new people and memories that are yet to arrive and there is no doubt that I shall.
Why is it that we seem to ridicule those who do not know something one otherwise deems as instinctive knowledge?
This ‘instinctive’ knowledge that people should be born knowing (e.g. who the Queen is or why E=MC2) simply to avoid a status of being ‘ignorant’.
Is it really fair to belittle someone simply for being in an innocent state of ‘ignorance’?
‘Ignorance’- is a fundamental term meaning a lack of knowledge but it’s negative connotations leave it as insulting as any derogatory word.
Perhaps it’s easy to forget no person came into this world knowing everything or even anything.
And believe it or not there will always be people who don’t know exactly what you know and vice versa.
Simply because everyone’s experiences of and in life couldn’t be more different.
But yet I see it all the time!
I should deem those who see themselves as superior for advocating such demeaning beliefs perhaps the most ‘ignorant’ of all.
Sometimes it can be so unsettling to realise how fragile the world is.
How a few words can change the course of our lives…
…or even just the day that we hear them.
How a single moment is the difference between living and dead.
How lies can make the truth..
But, and here is my problem, when everything is so uncertain how can we feel anything more than vulnerable?
Maybe that’s why I enjoy reading so much- books are one of the only certainties in life (for me anyway!).
Yesterday concluded the last of my G.C.S.E. examinations!
Today was the first day free from a desk and a mountain of study notes. In claiming this freedom I went for an eight mile stroll with my rucksack filled with baked bean cans to try and prepare myself as much as possible for the Iceland World Challenge which is only, now, a few weeks away.
Just my Ipod, myself and a load of beans.
It was- surprisingly-very relaxing and I perhaps even enjoyed it.
Obviously my giant rucksack and I got a few odd looks from passers by but everything went smooth enough!
I feel as though I have so much to say at the moment that I don’t know where to start!
My posts will soon enough become frequent again anyway 🙂
I often wish that life was a series of maths questions.
Because with maths there is always a right answer.
A single objective truth.
For example, I can sometimes find myself in the situation where I am not sure how I should feel or what the right thing to do is.
And as much as I may wish for a definite answer to my questions;
I realise that there is no ‘right’ way to feel or act.
Which leaves me with so much to mull over and with many mistakes to make I guess.