A good friend and I have been arguing over the matter of whether or not, as humans, we have control over our feelings.
I am adamant that we do not choose- our feelings are uncontrollable.
There are many feelings that wouldn’t exist if we could simply avoid them by choice- for example jealously. This feeling, like all feelings, comes without consideration or through consciousness.
I suppose one of my main arguments is: why do thousands of people commit suicide everyday, if they could just become a thoroughly happy and content human being through a single, conscious, choice to do so?
Because however much we may hate to admit- we are not the masters of our feelings.
But what we do have choice of though, is how we respond to our feelings.
Nevertheless I shall end this post with the end of my thoughts, and let YOU decide!
“I love you, but…”
“I would go out with you, however..”
“We were made for each other, nevertheless…”
…”I’m not gay.”
I have realised that these scenarios occur, and often enough to spark my attention. This idea that one person cannot be with someone of their opposite sexuality even though they love one another.
To me this is insanity. If you love somebody then surely that is enough for you to be together?
I am aware of the obvious objections to this: one has labelled themselves as gay or straight and therefore one is surely only physically attracted to a single gender-
But how can that be so, if you find yourself in love with someone that doesn’t fit your sexuality?
To me, love isn’t about gender.
And because of this I’m not gay, bisexual or straight.
I am Anna Ward-Gow.
Yesterday I grew a sympathetic view for anybody who has or ever will endure the adventures of carol singing!
Because myself and a few friends took part in this spirited enterprise!
And although the majority of the poor victims of our ‘singing’ were amazingly generous, others perhaps didn’t welcome our carols with quite as joyful arms. (I can’t really blame them!)
Nevertheless we left the dark, cold outdoors with a significant amount of funds for our world challenge expeditions!
Merry christmas everyone! 😀
You know when you are outrageously in love with somebody, but you equally despise them?
The person in question can just as easily be a stranger than an ancient friend.
This is an utterly wasted blog post but it’s just how I’m feeling! What I’m feeling..
but as to whom I am feeling for, well that is a completely different story.
I wanted to get this image out there, it’s me. (again)
Maybe it’s just the cold weather or ever-looming exams which make me feel like this, but..
I can’t help but notice our lives have already been lived for us. I mean this in the sense that from the moment we are born we have began the default setting.
We go to school at age 5. We finish compulsory education at aged 16- after that we can either get a job; maybe marry, and then have children before our lives come to an inevitable end. Or you can take the slightly lengthier, in my opinion tougher route, of enduring further education until of course you then follow the same path as those who left school at 16.
And don’t get me wrong- I know there’s a lot of people who would give their right arm for this ‘default’ life.
And it’s because of that reality I should end this post and delete it now as a bad job..
Nevertheless, I wish I was brave enough to quit school at 16, to end this default life and create my own path. Write my own life. Experience the extraordinary…
But alas I’m not brave enough.
I will continue my life and welcome all abnormalities which I encounter with open arms.
Girls see four hundred advertisements a day telling them how they should look.
And the damaged caused by this?
-We are expected to cover ourselves with make-up
-Shave our bodies
-Never grow old
-Hide that parts of us that may wobble
And if we don’t do this we are ridiculed- I am ridiculed…
For this is me.
and I am everthing that I am.
This is the first time that Oliver asked me out!
On the 30th of September 2009 at 16:53, the happiest Anna of all time screamed with utmost joy, relief and terror! (At the thought of actually meeting him!), OMG! Oliver James McNally??! Asked ME out?!? ME?!
Awww, I loved him then and I love him now.
(Lol, I love how cool I’m trying to be in that conversation!)
Haha! I woudn’t have missed this time for the world.