When questioned if you’d rather spend your days being exquisitely intelligent or divinely beautiful, what is your answer?
Too many times have I then heard the words “beauty fades”. True beauty, I believe, stays with the holder throughout life sustaining in death. Even the oldest possesors bestow cordial elogence and charm: such stirring eyes that cannot be stolen or remade and sold. Life is forever in these souls, it leaks through skin and their splendor shines even the darkest places.
I am far from talking about comercial ‘beauty’- Those faces that are stamped upon every limb of the media. This is not beauty. Not the people that are branded as ‘hot’ or ‘fit’ when really that’s all they are. Nothing more than nicely fitting skin. Eyes that imagination betrayed. The faces and the bodies that can be bought.
No. I know, when real beauty is poised before me, and I suspect I always shall.
If I could meet anyone I would meet Lucy Maud Montgomery.
My hero! She is the author of my favourite novels, she writes so beautifully and inspirationally. Her life was so full of romance and good people.. but sadly it can be said her life was also with shaded tragedy.
She knew death from a very early age- her mother died when she was twenty-one months old. She was brought up by her grandparents.
I would have loved to have known her in person. I feel as though we have a lot in common and I’d want to make sure she knew how wonderful she was.
I have concluded, and so rightly, that I am the most impulsive, reckless human being in all humanity!
Why? Earlier this week I had the crazy blast of urge to sign up for the ‘World Challenge’ to Iceland! Signing up six months after everyone else with £1,650 to raise in 8 months. Crazy reckless act numero uno!
Second reckless act- setting up a biscuit stall in my home town’s ‘War Weekend’ today with only one night to bake, make signs, organise a stall and of course look the part! Of course I got Ollie in on the idea and sleeping over at his we took the monstorous task of baking 400 biscuits with nothing less than complete naivity! After buying the shops out of their entire stock of butter we began…
With a single oven, 12 biscuits at a time we slaved for hours and hours! I don’t think I have ever been so physically and emotionally exhausted in my life! I cannot quite explain how draining all the baking was! If Ollie wasn’t there I think I should have cried for hours on the spot!
Nevertheless, after icing and bagging nearly 200 biscuits, half dead, we got a fairly sensible night’s sleep.
Of course baking all the biscuits was only half the adventure! Next we had to sell them.
Getting up ridiculously early we dragged ourselves to set up our stall with struggled enthusiasm. We were so tired and drained we saw no hope for our little stall with a few little signs in front of our two little dressed up characters. We were sort-of ready!
Yet, despite all our setbacks; (we were shattered and neither of us have any experience in selling and Oliver doesn’t even watch the Apprentice) we were able to make a small fortune and I cannot explain how acomplished I feel! Never have I taken on a challege such as this, I was able to sell and actually speak to people!
It feels great! Last night I was so close to giving up, but I didn’t and now I’m so glad we were able to achieve what many would feel like an impossibility from the start.
Yet most cruicially, It feels so great to know I can sleep tonight!
Yesterday was mine and Oliver’s two year anniversary! A date has never had such an impact on my life like the 10th October. I feel as though I want these moments of my life to last forever, I never want to let go of my dearest friend Oliver James McNally. We became together when I was 13- I am nearly 16. He has seen my life age and seen me grow. He has been a huge part of my life and I will always be in debt of his love to me. I could write forever but nothing can compare to the love I so cherishly hold for him.
There are a lot of things playing with my mind right now, making me conscious and feeling quite vulnerable.
Things change so easily, from loving someone to finding them intolerable.
There are so many crucial choices to make- do I or don’t I? What to do with my life? There are so many possibilites but surely the road to happiness would be an obvious one? Unless of course happiness is not in any of my paths, perhaps I’m too blind to see.
I just wish that things would stop for a while, so I could think without all this pressure!